How to manage life when it gets a bit overwhelming

3 minutes ago

4 min read

There are times in our lives when things - be they people (usually it's people) or situations (usually it's situations people created!) - that just...damage our zen; 'know what I mean?

But there are some things that we can do to at least help us manage them, if not give us the space to look at the issue from a different perspective.

So, let's talk about how to manage life when it gets a bit overwhelming.

First off, I'm not giving you a whole therapy e-book or any sort of prescription. What we'll be going through are 3 simple reminders; easy mindsets that you can implement whenever you need. Remember, if you need professional help, reach out to your GP or mental health support.

Mindset 1: Rediscover yourself in the familiar

When I was in university, I loved watercolour painting. I found it a very honest medium and brought calm to my senses. Sadly, life has a way of taking over and beloved hobbies tend to be stored in the attic (or basement, whichever works for you) of our beings.

After thirty-four years, I've picked up the brush again.

Mind you, it took so long for me to actually do it! I bought my paper, watercolours, brushes - and they sat in my drawer for so long.

Why? I doubted.

But once I started my first study, I realised that the doubt I was having reflected the accumulation of stress throughout my life to that point.

When I posted (to FB) one of my cosmos studies, a friend from university simply said "welcome home."

Welcome home - that simple phrase hit me like a very strong torch light, cutting through the fog of self-doubt.

Hobbies seem frivolous in our stress-filled lives, I understand that. We are so busy with just surviving that taking time to do something that is in all practical reasoning is a non-essential, seems to be a tad bit selfish.

Thank goodness that in the past decade, humanity has finally realised that mental and emotional health is an actual thing - that's a very good thing.

So here's what I want you to do - ask yourself what hobby you loved doing. Or, answer this - what do you tell yourself you would love to get back to as soon as retirement hits?

Whatever your answer - do it. Do it now, even if it's just a small part of the retirement plan. I promise you, you'll rediscover yourself.

I'm not saying all stresses won't bother you anymore, but In the rediscovering of yourself in something that makes you calm and happy, you'll build resilience.

Mindset 2: Catharsis is a good thing

Dance like a wild thing.

Grunt while lifting some weights.

Do a "spring clean" even when it's not Spring.

Do a decisive, "take no prisoners" edit of things you own.

Do something that makes you release.

Whatever you do - {do you want me to say it? I'll say it} - throw all that shit out!

Cathartic actions are very potent reminders for us to reclaim our agency, however little that may be in light of our current and specific situations.

A little bit of control over our own lives is important for us to be able to find our centre and adjust our sails, as it were.

It's also a great way to remove all that dead weight - if that wasn't obvious already.

Letting go of things that don't serve us is highly symbolic of relieving ourselves of thoughts and emotions that weigh us down. Once we're lightened-up, we can then look at what remains more objectively and choose the next course of action.

Plus, the actual, physical and practical result of moving, sweating, fixing, cleaning, sorting and tidying up will give us a sense of accomplishment and resolution; a concrete win.

Mindset 3: Write it down

This is directly from my own experience. A few months back, I had my personal crisis. I won't give details, but it kept me up at night.

Feeling overwhelmed isn't a sensation that affects us only when we're awake. It gets into our heads, and if we don't find a way to manage it, it will consume us.

I know.

What I found truly helpful was to write it all down. Stress and hurt emotions can play in our heads on repeat; on a loop that gets worse because we don't actually want to let it go, just in case we need it when confrontations occur. Writing things down in an objective, detailed and dispassionate manner removes the neural load on our minds. It stops the loop and gives us space to actually think.

Take down the dates, witnesses, what was said, what was done and by whom. The last one - the who - is important to include everyone, not just the object of your stress, but what you did and said as well. This can be confronting, I know.

But being honest with ourselves is very liberating and humbling. Maybe there's something that you need to reflect on too? Don't feel defensive; be kind.

Make your entries as objective and factual as possible. Where emotions are involved, state how the event made you feel and why. Then when a confrontation does arise, you can remain calm and objective, because you have the receipts.

What happens next

I hope these mindsets help you manage your stresses, overwhelm, heavy emotions and darkened thoughts.

Remember, though, that these and any other self-help content out there are secondary to you reaching out to a professional. Talk to your GP and ask for a referral for a mental health professional; at least, that's the process here in Australia.

Find someone who you are comfortable with - that's very important. Someone who will actually listen to you and not just automatically reach for a prescription pad.

Also, remember that often the best support and help in managing overwhelm is just to be heard.